plz talk dirty to me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it