haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me