I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.