I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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