you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
