you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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