is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
