Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
