No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize