you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
bring money and cleavage
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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