If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
