Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
