You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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