I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The air was thick with penises
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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