I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize