You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
