If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
