i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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