in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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