Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
