I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
