okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
