mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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