love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
