So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize