Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
