you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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