That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
