Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
