Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
