Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need help removing her.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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