i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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