But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
