ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
