It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
