For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
