where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just tell him i said nine months
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
