It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
