i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
