i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
