Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
