She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
