New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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