Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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