Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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