You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize