did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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