I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
