they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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