you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
