Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I could make wine with my vomit
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
