Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
