Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
