i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
