i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
