Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
