First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
