You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Randomize
