me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
