Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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