Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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