walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
