Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
