I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
