I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
