I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
